1 00:00:02,910 --> 00:00:05,110 Huh. Tijuana's smaller than I remembered. 2 00:00:05,330 --> 00:00:06,690 And more boat -like. 3 00:00:10,550 --> 00:00:12,030 Oh, God. Already? 4 00:00:12,330 --> 00:00:16,470 Usually movies take a bit longer than this to strap cement shoes to our feet 5 00:00:16,470 --> 00:00:17,470 drown us. 6 00:00:18,790 --> 00:00:25,550 But we haven't been shown how they put on the scuba gear in 7 00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:28,970 real time. Did they learn nothing from Destination Interspace? 8 00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:38,440 The Jaws theme sounds clinically depressed. 9 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,520 Yeah, I've been going through a rough patch. 10 00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:45,120 Old lady threw me out, lost my sense of self -worth. 11 00:00:45,340 --> 00:00:48,980 Now I'll appear in any movie that asks, because what's the difference? 12 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,820 Wow, I'm sorry to hear that Jaws theme. Thanks for listening. 13 00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:59,440 I think we're just watching a screensaver from the late 90s. Nah, 14 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,440 little more compelling. 15 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,600 I don't feel like an apex predator. 16 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,820 The shark killed us when we went to Orange County! 17 00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:20,400 It's both heaven and hell. 18 00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:26,860 It's good luck to kill a seabird, right? 19 00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:28,840 Yep, pretty sure that's what Willem Dafoe said. 20 00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:30,060 Yep. 21 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,180 You know, this is a lovely shot. 22 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,680 Guys, maybe this will actually be a good film. 23 00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:42,720 Elegant cinematography and thoughtfully composed. Okay, here we go. 24 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,560 Well, that's one way to introduce a character. 25 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:57,100 But not your bikini top. Keep that loosely slung around your 26 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,100 neck. 27 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,390 He quickly changes the music to Barry Manilow. 28 00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:18,350 I've seen smoother zoom outs in Instagram stories. 29 00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:27,350 Gasp, you SPF 666. 30 00:02:36,970 --> 00:02:39,230 Oh, no, it's her cow tongue. 31 00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:49,450 The story of a violent gang who prey upon low -price -point Apex DVD players. 32 00:02:55,010 --> 00:03:00,190 I ate his liver with some scalded barber beads and some nice scalded beyond 33 00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:01,190 dead. 34 00:03:05,390 --> 00:03:08,290 Funny they should use this song. It used to be my go -to for karaoke. 35 00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:09,269 Oh, yeah. 36 00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:11,270 We got kicked out of a lot of places, Mike. 37 00:03:15,770 --> 00:03:18,990 Jason Horton can't hear a who over all this noise. 38 00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:30,650 Now one of the palm trees takes off. It's tough. Oh, yeah. 39 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:41,600 You mean to tell me the beach was left unattended? And the seagulls ate all my 40 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,060 crisps? I really had to go. 41 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,960 And the city doesn't supply enough budget for two lifeguards in the area at 42 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:47,759 same time. 43 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,260 And the one they do pay for is this guy? 44 00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:53,940 According to her, you have a history of disappearing on the job. 45 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:58,320 Seems as last week you were written up when you were found smoking marijuana in 46 00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,320 the first aid station. 47 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:01,160 Sound familiar? 48 00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:03,040 Gotland Yard ain't what it used to be. 49 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,260 See, I get these backpacks. 50 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,240 What about last month? 51 00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:10,780 A domestic disturbance call to your home? 52 00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:14,380 A grinder hookup that got a little too rough? 53 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:19,120 Whoa! He is making me nervous. I don't want it in my browser history. 54 00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:22,100 Do you see how this is looking for you? 55 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,860 Well, it's looking like two depressing schlubs shot on home video. 56 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:31,080 I forgot my lunch at home, so I gave in and ate at the sourpuss on the pier. 57 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,520 Still better than the bubblegum shrimp company. 58 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,360 My digestive system didn't really like that. 59 00:04:36,780 --> 00:04:40,640 Are you trying to be funny? Like my empty wine bottle and glass behind you. 60 00:04:41,340 --> 00:04:42,660 Are you going to have me arrested? 61 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,540 My mom's going to be so mad. 62 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,440 Madder than the time the cops came because of that grinder hookup that got 63 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,440 little too rough? 64 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,060 I may have more questions for you later. 65 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:56,700 Thank you, Detective Burns. I won't, I promise. And I promise to do a few push 66 00:04:56,700 --> 00:04:59,400 -ups so it's halfway believable I could ever be a lifeguard. 67 00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:12,680 Something doesn't add up. Why is my office the conference room in a comfort 68 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:19,660 It's DJ Carter. Be with you again on this beautiful Friday morning in L .A. 69 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:24,420 And as usual, Highway 5 southbound is backed up. Looking at about a 20 -minute 70 00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:28,660 delay due to a three -car pileup. That's a drive time fatality. 71 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,320 A rogue shark. 72 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,600 A secret. 73 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:34,840 Government conspiracy. 74 00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:38,140 Ah, this is one of those podcasts that sells brain pills. 75 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:42,020 Details are still a bit sketchy, but authorities have suggested it might have 76 00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:44,980 something to do with a similar incident in Tijuana just a few days prior. 77 00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:49,460 Could authorities tell us what happened in Tijuana? Because this movie didn't. 78 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:53,320 Let's get this holiday weekend off to a glorious start, and let's get lit with a 79 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,400 brand new track from the City Bros. 80 00:05:55,900 --> 00:06:00,260 Whoa, I'm impressed the City Bros don't license their songs to just any movie. 81 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,400 Uh, yeah. 82 00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:05,860 Hey. 83 00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:07,220 Hey. 84 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:11,900 I, 85 00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:19,320 um... You guys hear that faint sound like a 13 -year -old pretending to rap 86 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,620 behind a closed door? 87 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:23,840 That's the city bro's signature sound, you philistine. 88 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,240 Hey. 89 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:33,820 Shout out to women who had no idea they were being filmed. 90 00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:42,880 It's a dumpster, y 'all. 91 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,020 Wait, wait, wait. The City Bros got Double G on this track? 92 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,720 Best movie ever. 93 00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,860 Mike? We must have a gas leak. 94 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,940 That's what one of the G's in Double G stands for. 95 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,240 Ah, Ruby. Must be next door to Sourpuss on the pier. 96 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,920 I used to think beach boardwalks were pretty and fun. 97 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,340 Now I find them grotesque. 98 00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:20,520 That's what the other G stands for. 99 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,560 Hi, are you Pitbull? 100 00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:32,180 I just knew I'd find you here. I mean, it is our place as well. 101 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,520 What do you want now? 102 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:35,960 What? 103 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,280 Which one of the city bros was it? 104 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,400 Bullshit. 105 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,440 You know what? You're so fucking crazy. Get out of my life. 106 00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:51,880 This has been a scene from some other movie. 107 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,400 Fine, bring on the Dolphinato. I'm ready. 108 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:08,520 He'd really get along with the kid who said, I like turtles. 109 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:23,600 Did he just say, you sure are a hell of a dolphin? 110 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,520 You guys were right about that gas leak. I heard it too. 111 00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:31,660 You sure are a hell of a dolphin, guys. 112 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,520 Same to you, Bill. Thanks. 113 00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:40,740 Imagine how excited he'd be if he were actually at a dolphin show instead of 114 00:08:40,740 --> 00:08:42,620 watching somebody's shaky vacation footage. 115 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,280 Come on, yeah! 116 00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:50,900 Someone wants to talk to me? 117 00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:52,600 That's never happened before. 118 00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,600 Hey, man, how's it going? 119 00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:03,200 Oh, if it's a dolphin, he's going to lose his mind. You should see these 120 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,220 jump. These things are... 121 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:08,010 You know, you've got to get out here. You got any of the weed? 122 00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:12,790 You've got the wacky stuff, right? None of that non -wacky formal business weed. 123 00:09:13,110 --> 00:09:15,730 I really want to get a little tripped out. 124 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:18,510 I'm not trying to rush you. I know, I know. 125 00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:20,690 But meet me at the end of the pier, all right? 126 00:09:21,190 --> 00:09:23,130 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll see you soon, all right? Now hurry up. 127 00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:26,050 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Get here as soon as you can, but please soon. All right, 128 00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:27,050 I'll see you soon. 129 00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:29,330 Oh, wow. Was that a slug on the ground? 130 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:30,870 Slugs are great. 131 00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:33,650 You sure are a hell of a slug. 132 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,100 Okay, so I guess we're done with that guy now, too. Yep. 133 00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:46,440 Next, the movie will follow this older couple on their walk to CVS, pick up 134 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,200 prescriptions, and maybe get a copy. 135 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,780 Or maybe just nothing at all. Maybe nothing at all. 136 00:10:01,740 --> 00:10:05,260 Waddling like a toddler with a full diaper on the way to his drug deal. 137 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,500 It's like they couldn't find the stop button on the camera. 138 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,680 We better keep going. I don't know. 139 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:23,660 I really appreciate you dedicating your morning to help us. 140 00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:28,560 If every scene starts a different movie, the audience will never get bored. Very 141 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,560 little time. 142 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,140 Now, first things first. 143 00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:34,760 Sherry, did you inform the newspaper about the time? 144 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,040 What about the city bros? Have they been informed? 145 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000 Wonderful. 146 00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:43,380 Eric, what about the permits? 147 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,480 The mayor will be here tomorrow to sign off on them. After that, we'll be all 148 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,900 good. But the mayor does insist you pronounce the permits like a normal 149 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:51,900 want you to follow me. 150 00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:53,920 I'm going to give you a tour of the ground. 151 00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:57,840 And one day this will all be yours, you know. You look dope. 152 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,800 And you too, I would ask you to do the cleaning. 153 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:06,500 We need to finish the mopping. 154 00:11:07,189 --> 00:11:11,910 And the tablecloths. Mopping and tablecloths to ease up on the relentless 155 00:11:11,990 --> 00:11:13,430 buddy. In about an hour. 156 00:11:13,850 --> 00:11:15,690 And we'll go over to plant for Sunday. 157 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,680 Follow me, kid. 158 00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:22,580 You're looking a little too natural. Let's tattoo some eyebrows on you. 159 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,340 It's crazy what happened to that chick. 160 00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:26,540 Do you think it could have been a shark that did it? 161 00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:27,980 Dude, 162 00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:32,000 I wouldn't doubt it, man. This beach is so trashed, like, anything's possible. I 163 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,780 wouldn't be surprised if a shark bit her. He's probably pissed off. Anyway, 164 00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:38,480 think you can get my hand unstuck from this boombox handle? This is Oceanside. 165 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:42,020 It's not going to happen out here. That was over Newport Beach. 166 00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,760 I mean, nothing ever happens out here. 167 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,760 You're probably right, dude. You're probably right. 168 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,500 I hope it turns out that they are the city bros. 169 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,200 You're probably right. 170 00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:52,820 Right. Right. 171 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,980 Maybe these shades will help the white balance. Hey, beautiful. 172 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:02,620 Hi. I'm so sorry I'm late. 173 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:05,600 I had a client last unit, and it took me forever. 174 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,820 Here we go. You're worth the wait. 175 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,500 Sure, we're near them. Why not? 176 00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:15,540 Thanks 177 00:12:15,540 --> 00:12:23,640 for 178 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,260 ducking behind me like we're dastardly and muttly. 179 00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:35,320 I give accent lessons to men who star in their room. 180 00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:40,440 No, I haven't heard anything. 181 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,080 Really? Really. People are saying it's a serial killer. 182 00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:45,840 I'm willing to bet it's a shark. 183 00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:48,500 If this movie's bad enough, it could be both. What do you think? 184 00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:50,260 Dommershark. They found the body in Jesus. 185 00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,720 What? Someone was asleep when this happened. 186 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,340 Okay. If it was a serial killer, why would you leave her alive? 187 00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:59,960 And they fought with the body in shallow water. It was found immediately. 188 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:02,540 Vin Diesel's stunt double is Ms. 189 00:13:02,860 --> 00:13:03,860 Marvel. What? 190 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,730 If it is a shark, hopefully it stays away from here. 191 00:13:07,070 --> 00:13:11,550 Because this weekend, we're having that big grand opening. I can't wait to see 192 00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:14,530 how clean their tablecloths are. And wait, there's more. 193 00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:19,550 I heard there is three popcorn shrimps on my wall. 194 00:13:19,950 --> 00:13:24,410 Her name is Henrietta Blinkman. Yeah, my father's the orange. 195 00:13:24,830 --> 00:13:25,809 No way. 196 00:13:25,810 --> 00:13:26,910 I had no idea. 197 00:13:27,490 --> 00:13:30,570 Yeah, we kind of figured it out. 198 00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:34,890 That guy had an affair? 199 00:13:35,170 --> 00:13:36,510 With who? Baba Yaga? 200 00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:44,410 Obi -Wan told Luke the same thing. 201 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:50,830 Yeah, 202 00:13:55,510 --> 00:13:57,710 but with these actors, I don't think that's going to be possible. 203 00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:03,750 Well, 204 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,770 maybe not Marvin Gaye. 205 00:14:12,290 --> 00:14:18,750 Constant background guitar, 206 00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:20,650 courtesy roller gator guy. 207 00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:30,110 He's such a player, it affects my grammar. 208 00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:42,110 Was she part walrus? Go pay $8 .99 at Red Lobster. 209 00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:50,430 Either the footage is blown out or the ocean is full of milk. 210 00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:59,490 Ladies Home Journal cover shoot, I assume. 211 00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:02,809 Give daddy what he wants. 212 00:15:02,810 --> 00:15:04,330 Give daddy what he wants. That's it. 213 00:15:04,690 --> 00:15:05,690 Oh, yeah. 214 00:15:06,130 --> 00:15:06,949 Big smile. 215 00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:07,950 Big smile. 216 00:15:08,410 --> 00:15:12,010 That's it. That's it. Matt Groening, beach pervert. I'll tell you what. 217 00:15:13,470 --> 00:15:14,470 This is too much. 218 00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:15,690 Too much, ladies. 219 00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:17,450 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 220 00:15:17,670 --> 00:15:20,770 This is great stuff. This is how Dorothea Lange got her start, too. 221 00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:21,970 Wait till our mother sees it. 222 00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:23,270 Oh. 223 00:15:24,730 --> 00:15:25,730 Oh, wow. 224 00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:29,730 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. That's about it. Wow. 225 00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:35,040 I'm getting paid in boxed wine to be an apex predator. How could I not smile? 226 00:15:35,940 --> 00:15:39,440 I gotta 227 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:45,980 tell Beyonce I'm gonna be running late for a Vanity Fair shoot. 228 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:48,800 Alright. 229 00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:50,480 It's getting pretty hot. 230 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,980 Can we go shoot in the water? 231 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,280 Yeah, I'm down for getting wet. Okay, now close the beaches. 232 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:57,560 Yay! 233 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,520 She's annoyed that she's missing the all -you -can -eat popcorn shrimp. 234 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,040 Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. 235 00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:18,800 I bet that guy has strong opinions about when Penthouse magazine started going 236 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:19,800 downhill. 237 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,140 Loving it, loving it, loving it. 238 00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:24,660 Yeah. 239 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:28,440 Mrs. Kittner made a few changes after Alex got eaten. 240 00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:33,150 Okay, that's a big syringe. 241 00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:43,610 We found the apex sexual predator. 242 00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:51,750 They couldn't afford a GoPro. 243 00:16:51,950 --> 00:16:53,770 Had to settle for a Go Amateur. 244 00:17:06,410 --> 00:17:08,410 Wow, that sure is a hell of a shark. 245 00:17:10,109 --> 00:17:11,670 There's something out here! 246 00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:14,670 It's probably just a school. 247 00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:19,430 Small baby fish or something. You're right by the quarry. Folks, having a 248 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:20,430 is important. 249 00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:21,630 Let's go. 250 00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:23,790 That's it. 251 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:24,810 That's what I'm talking about. 252 00:17:25,369 --> 00:17:28,369 The shark keeps dropping banana peels. 253 00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:29,750 Lana! 254 00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,570 Lana, where are you at? 255 00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,390 Good question, Madonna. 256 00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,590 Here's where we're going to set up the party. 257 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:47,150 It could be rented out for conferences, banquets, hell, even jingle night. 258 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,450 I don't care as long as they pay up front. 259 00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:51,070 He's like a Fred Willard character. 260 00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,930 Fred Willard has been dead for three years. I know, I know. 261 00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:56,410 Okay, fair point. 262 00:17:57,530 --> 00:18:02,730 And our only competition is a sourpuss, so we don't have much to worry about 263 00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:03,730 there. 264 00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:05,540 I think Mom's watching. 265 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:06,680 Who said that? 266 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:08,920 He said that? 267 00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:11,440 I'm sure she is, son. 268 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:16,300 Dad, what's it like being a ventriloquist dummy that came to life? 269 00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:26,620 Guessing this is the best shot of a fish we're going to get all movie. 270 00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:37,910 Yeah, me and the garbage ape used to date. He'd always want me to wear my 271 00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:38,910 helmet in bed. 272 00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:41,350 Teeth marks alone make it obvious. 273 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:45,810 Clearly, this is not the work of a serial killer. And clearly, that is not 274 00:18:45,810 --> 00:18:46,810 real diploma. 275 00:18:47,510 --> 00:18:49,530 And usually 100 feet from the shore. 276 00:18:50,070 --> 00:18:53,590 But keep in mind, the shark does this as a means of protection. 277 00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:58,930 Duke Westwind? Did George Lucas name him? Every human killed by a shark. 278 00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:03,670 Two million sharks are killed by humans. And out of every two million shark 279 00:19:03,670 --> 00:19:05,190 movies, there's one good one. 280 00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:07,670 Having fun in that Cali sun? 281 00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:09,210 Shark fuel! 282 00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:12,790 Need a pick -me -up and feeling out of luck? Shark fuel! 283 00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:17,550 Thanks to the FDA, it's now classified as an industrial lubricant. 284 00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:18,750 Shark fuel! 285 00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:20,650 It's a blast! 286 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:26,730 Shark fuel. Available now at Wendlow Grocers and Shark Fuels. Yeah, sure. 287 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,730 buy some. Maybe this time it won't give me diarrhea. 288 00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:39,660 Well, nice chance to catch our breath. What else you got for us? 289 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,880 Hello? Oh, no. 290 00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:50,180 Rotation of the Earth, everyone. Give it up for the natural rotation of the 291 00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:51,180 Earth. 292 00:19:54,340 --> 00:19:58,080 Well, Mr. Fishaw, I now hate natural beauty. 293 00:20:07,050 --> 00:20:10,370 Would be very fitting if baby ghosts flew by right about now. 294 00:20:10,570 --> 00:20:11,590 Oh, yeah. That'd be wonderful. 295 00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:21,810 There have been Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy movies that didn't have this much 296 00:20:21,810 --> 00:20:22,810 sunset! 297 00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:30,470 Folks, no jury would convict you if you parody -hunted the director down and 298 00:20:30,470 --> 00:20:31,970 satire severely beat him. 299 00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:33,630 Funny joke. 300 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:40,380 Wow, 65 seconds. Nick Cage would have stolen 1 .083 cars in that time. 301 00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:49,760 Well, may as well head to the surface and catch the sunrise. 302 00:20:50,340 --> 00:20:57,280 Another victim. 303 00:20:57,500 --> 00:20:59,120 Our patients. Long Beach. 304 00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:03,330 Supermodel Alana Evans was participating in a photo shoot yesterday on the beach 305 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:07,290 before she was attacked in the water by what experts are now confirming to be a 306 00:21:07,290 --> 00:21:11,410 shark. She was a supermodel in the same sense that parsnips are a superfood. 307 00:21:11,490 --> 00:21:14,390 ...will remain closed for the weekend until the investigation is complete. 308 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,440 Now tourists and you locals out there are encouraged to enjoy one of our many 309 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,460 other beaches in Southern California this holiday weekend, like beautiful 310 00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:25,220 Oceanside. Since sharks are known to respect municipal boundaries. 311 00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:29,760 As always, we will keep you updated here at WKIL LA. But in the meantime, let's 312 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:34,320 get this party started with a new single from the Chex. Oh, we want the city 313 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,320 bros. 314 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,160 Surf Museum, also known as the Dudenheim. 315 00:21:45,950 --> 00:21:49,390 Here I sit feeling like a victim. 316 00:21:50,430 --> 00:21:55,390 Singer definitely sounds like he would even try being a lesbian. 317 00:21:56,290 --> 00:22:02,850 Here I cheese and squirrely 318 00:22:02,850 --> 00:22:06,730 wonder. Cheese and squirrely wonder. That sounds delicious. 319 00:22:08,090 --> 00:22:10,010 The local specialty. 320 00:22:17,490 --> 00:22:21,430 Right after I see you back home. 321 00:22:24,570 --> 00:22:28,630 Even when the camera's way overexposed. 322 00:22:31,990 --> 00:22:38,410 You please crank the camera's exposure down four full stops. Thank you. 323 00:22:44,140 --> 00:22:48,060 Oh, please. Nothing the director hasn't done to you at least ten times per shoot 324 00:22:48,060 --> 00:22:50,200 day. Is that doing a flash? I don't know, dude. 325 00:22:50,580 --> 00:22:53,260 Did you hear that there was another shark attack? 326 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,720 Yeah. Over in Long Beach, dude. 327 00:22:56,140 --> 00:23:00,200 Dolphin, sharks, and weed. This guy's character is really coming into focus 328 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,040 He'd be like a whole squad of sharks. Crazy killer sharks. 329 00:23:03,260 --> 00:23:04,560 Dude, this is some jaw shit. 330 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:09,020 Is that supermodel, what's her name? I mean, she's probably out in the water, 331 00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:12,020 flapping her fake boobs all over the place, and the shark got scared and bit 332 00:23:12,020 --> 00:23:15,920 her. And to think that this guy is the head of Scripps Institute of 333 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,460 Oceanography. I know you want to see me take off my shirt and see my loose 334 00:23:19,460 --> 00:23:22,600 moves, but you're not going to see it. You're not going to see it. And also, I 335 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,600 don't tan well at all. 336 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,740 Ah! Wax dummy of Regis Philbin! 337 00:23:25,980 --> 00:23:27,780 Oh, no. It's just him. 338 00:23:29,220 --> 00:23:30,540 Very scared of that. 339 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:35,380 Looks like it's just me. 340 00:23:35,660 --> 00:23:38,380 The boys decided to take a little break before tomorrow. 341 00:23:38,740 --> 00:23:40,760 Oh. What is... No, no. 342 00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:42,020 No! 343 00:23:46,310 --> 00:23:50,610 Oh, please cut to something as horrifying like a gruesome shark attack. 344 00:23:58,430 --> 00:24:02,090 Hello there. No, he's getting invited to a great Vietnamese restaurant. I love 345 00:24:02,090 --> 00:24:03,090 your surprise. 346 00:24:03,330 --> 00:24:04,430 Got a bunch of lunch today? 347 00:24:05,330 --> 00:24:08,010 No. I was thinking sour poops over on the pier. 348 00:24:09,410 --> 00:24:13,250 I was just sitting here snuffing down fistfuls of popcorn shrimp. 349 00:24:13,730 --> 00:24:15,070 Thank you. You're welcome. 350 00:24:18,830 --> 00:24:19,830 Help, 351 00:24:20,530 --> 00:24:21,530 where are we? 352 00:24:21,810 --> 00:24:23,450 That bitch is mine. 353 00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:33,430 Dad, can I have my tube back? Dad? 354 00:24:33,950 --> 00:24:35,390 I hope you get eaten. 355 00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:43,500 They chose this location because there's a wiener schnitzel right up the stairs. 356 00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:50,300 Oh, no. 357 00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:54,920 Guy floating for three seconds on Child's Tube was my favorite character. 358 00:24:59,860 --> 00:25:04,360 Okay, next stop on my tour of lobbies that might have an ATM, here I come. 359 00:25:10,990 --> 00:25:11,990 What do you think? 360 00:25:12,850 --> 00:25:13,850 I think it's obvious. 361 00:25:14,590 --> 00:25:18,370 Like shark bait to me. But then my arm is fused to the light from the window 362 00:25:18,370 --> 00:25:20,050 behind me. I'm going to need your help. 363 00:25:20,530 --> 00:25:24,410 I've been tracking the four recent shark attacks in the area, and something has 364 00:25:24,410 --> 00:25:25,229 been adding up. 365 00:25:25,230 --> 00:25:26,230 What do you mean? 366 00:25:26,470 --> 00:25:29,230 Well, detectives seem to think it's to work with a single rogue shark. 367 00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:30,870 I'm not sure about that. 368 00:25:31,310 --> 00:25:32,310 Do you have a map? 369 00:25:32,610 --> 00:25:37,910 Do you have an ID or any... What am I saying? We trust you implicitly, guy 370 00:25:37,910 --> 00:25:39,670 baseball cap who just wandered in here. 371 00:25:42,030 --> 00:25:43,090 Wow. In Omaha. 372 00:25:45,430 --> 00:25:46,430 Yeah, 373 00:25:47,410 --> 00:25:53,650 that was thick with implications. 374 00:25:58,090 --> 00:26:05,010 Are sharks known for 375 00:26:05,010 --> 00:26:06,470 respectfully taking turns? 376 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,280 For some reason, they're forming a mob mentality and attacking in various 377 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:15,280 all at once. 378 00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:18,660 Hmm. Shards can't process thoughts that way. 379 00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:24,000 However, some experts believe they possess ESP. Some experts? 380 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,960 Maybe the ones who call into Art Bell's show. 381 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,280 Dogs and cats do it all the time to find their way home. 382 00:26:31,630 --> 00:26:36,070 A girl I went to high school with lost her pet cat, Fluffy, during a move, and 383 00:26:36,070 --> 00:26:40,170 it showed up to her new home over 100 miles away like a week later. 384 00:26:40,410 --> 00:26:42,370 Therefore, sharks possess ESP. 385 00:26:43,610 --> 00:26:44,610 It's true. 386 00:26:46,670 --> 00:26:51,170 If you have any evidence from the attacks, we could try running some tests 387 00:26:51,170 --> 00:26:53,350 see if the shark DNA matches between victims. 388 00:26:53,570 --> 00:26:57,590 I mean, we're the lab that makes picky, thick candy, but we could try. 389 00:26:58,730 --> 00:27:02,290 Good luck with that this weekend. All the police are down at Oceanside this 390 00:27:02,290 --> 00:27:03,289 holiday weekend. 391 00:27:03,290 --> 00:27:07,830 A new resort is opening tomorrow, and everyone will be there. Former Vice 392 00:27:07,830 --> 00:27:10,550 President Dan Quayle. Yes, I said everyone. 393 00:27:10,850 --> 00:27:17,390 You could try going down and talking to Robert at the resort today. 394 00:27:17,610 --> 00:27:22,310 I bet he's there setting up. I keep a mental schedule of all resort owners in 395 00:27:22,310 --> 00:27:23,310 head at all times. 396 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,040 Our awful banter is killing me. 397 00:27:36,860 --> 00:27:41,640 I guess that was our action scene. 398 00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:44,640 What the hell is wrong? 399 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,900 No matter what, you're not getting me back. 400 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,820 Oh, that was supposed to be dramedy, maybe? 401 00:27:52,020 --> 00:27:55,580 Oh, Apex Predators, you are a genre -defying miracle. 402 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:56,759 Oh, no. 403 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:57,760 No. 404 00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:03,180 I'm afraid your son's pool toy was found washed up, deflated. 405 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:04,400 No! 406 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:07,500 You know what? I'm going to get this fucking shot. 407 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:08,980 He's telling that. 408 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:17,580 Come on. Nothing to see. This carotid artery is spraying like a lawn 409 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:18,600 It's incredibly cool. 410 00:28:23,879 --> 00:28:26,820 Brown's Bar and Grill. We're no the sourpuss. 411 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:38,680 There, buy a drink, get a free ticket to the Dolphin Show promotion. It's a big 412 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:39,680 flop. 413 00:28:44,980 --> 00:28:47,680 Yep, that's the right attitude for being in this bar. 414 00:28:53,070 --> 00:28:55,870 Ah, the sign tricked him into ordering a Coors Light. 415 00:29:02,090 --> 00:29:06,470 Most photos that come with the wallet are bad, but I love this one. 416 00:29:08,550 --> 00:29:09,550 Yeah. 417 00:29:13,030 --> 00:29:14,710 Tombstone pizza. No, I know. 418 00:29:14,910 --> 00:29:17,710 Pickled egg. They're the saddest of all bar foods. 419 00:29:24,590 --> 00:29:27,050 Great scene, everyone. I think we just made cinema magic. 420 00:29:32,670 --> 00:29:36,110 He's from Michelin. Gonna call in and award them another star. 421 00:29:37,070 --> 00:29:38,510 Hey. Yeah? 422 00:29:38,710 --> 00:29:39,710 What is it? 423 00:29:40,590 --> 00:29:43,630 Hey, do you still have that boat? That was Elizabeth. He's wondering if you 424 00:29:43,630 --> 00:29:44,890 still had QE2. 425 00:29:49,310 --> 00:29:51,550 Hey, uh, I'm sorry about earlier. 426 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,040 Frankly, it can be a real jealous bitch sometimes. 427 00:29:54,540 --> 00:29:58,680 I mean, I know you're in the shower and you can't hear me, but how did you do 428 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,980 that? I'm going to talk about her right now. 429 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,500 Oh, baby. The universal sign of passion. 430 00:30:08,820 --> 00:30:09,820 Oh, baby. 431 00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:18,200 Just a reminder that the Pacific Ocean exists. 432 00:30:24,170 --> 00:30:25,170 You want to do this? 433 00:30:25,610 --> 00:30:29,310 Someone's got to stop this thing. It'd be great if he took the camera out of 434 00:30:29,310 --> 00:30:31,050 director's hands and stomped on it. 435 00:30:36,190 --> 00:30:40,790 And a helpful reminder that clouds also exist. 436 00:30:41,990 --> 00:30:46,570 So, you really think we're going to find this bastard out here? 437 00:30:46,770 --> 00:30:48,450 I think it's our best bet. 438 00:30:48,690 --> 00:30:50,210 The sharks come to this area to feed. 439 00:30:50,530 --> 00:30:51,670 The sun goes down. 440 00:30:52,390 --> 00:30:53,390 What was that? 441 00:30:55,620 --> 00:30:57,100 Settle down. That could have been anything. 442 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,680 I agree with the woman who knows we're looking out. 443 00:31:00,380 --> 00:31:01,640 No, that felt thick. 444 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:05,840 It's him. I know it. 445 00:31:06,460 --> 00:31:09,900 Oh, for fire. I know what you're blasting. I'm holding my boat. Without 446 00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:10,900 where would I day drink? 447 00:31:11,580 --> 00:31:16,740 Mikey, go check it out. I got it. I don't see anything. 448 00:31:20,620 --> 00:31:21,620 Again, 449 00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:23,460 I'm with no lady. 450 00:31:29,620 --> 00:31:30,620 Wait, 451 00:31:35,740 --> 00:31:38,300 he likes being eaten by a shark. Hey, Mikey! 452 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,180 Mikey, where are you? 453 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:44,560 What have I done? 454 00:31:45,020 --> 00:31:48,340 And who are you, and who are they, and what's happening? Yeah, a lot of 455 00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:49,660 questions going around here, buddy. 456 00:31:57,940 --> 00:31:59,140 Ah, a sunset. 457 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,920 The last one was on screen longer than it actually took the sun to form. 458 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,160 Well, I'm sure the director has learned his lesson, and this one will be brief. 459 00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:10,780 That is my promise, or my name isn't. 460 00:32:11,820 --> 00:32:12,820 Michael... 461 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:17,640 J. Nell. 462 00:32:18,820 --> 00:32:21,020 There. I kept my promise. 463 00:32:22,020 --> 00:32:27,800 The most 464 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:33,660 passionate line we've yet was for free wiener. 465 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:44,720 This movie was made recently, so I guess I'm still good using the term chilling 466 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:45,820 with my homies. 467 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:47,520 That's a relief. 468 00:32:49,540 --> 00:32:54,040 Oh, much like New York in a Woody Allen film, it feels like the city bros are an 469 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,240 actual character in Apex Predators. 470 00:32:58,140 --> 00:33:00,180 Long shot of a guy walking. 471 00:33:00,580 --> 00:33:03,340 It's a long shot of a guy walking. 472 00:33:03,620 --> 00:33:06,460 It's a long shot of a guy walking. 473 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,860 These two just scream, I have once again spent the rent money on Dogecoin. 474 00:33:19,060 --> 00:33:24,140 Oh, come on. How safe is it to have this many cool divorced dads on the water at 475 00:33:24,140 --> 00:33:25,140 the same time? 476 00:33:34,639 --> 00:33:37,780 Cheryl, come back. I can change, see? 477 00:33:38,900 --> 00:33:39,900 Cheryl. 478 00:33:44,380 --> 00:33:48,580 Yeah, see, even a man -eating shark isn't interested in filthy jet skiers. 479 00:33:50,780 --> 00:33:53,240 This is unlike anything I've ever seen before. 480 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:54,940 Let me take a look. 481 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:59,340 Ladies, don't you have some lenses to make while I wait? Yeah, they just 482 00:33:59,340 --> 00:34:00,960 arrived. Come take a look at this. 483 00:34:03,370 --> 00:34:07,410 There was a shark tooth embedded in the remains of the Newport Beach victim, and 484 00:34:07,410 --> 00:34:09,310 we were able to extract a DNA sample. 485 00:34:09,590 --> 00:34:11,650 Then we turned it into a kick -ass necklace. 486 00:34:11,929 --> 00:34:15,810 ...with several other species of fish, and it dominates every one of them. 487 00:34:16,909 --> 00:34:17,909 Look here. 488 00:34:20,989 --> 00:34:21,989 Okay. 489 00:34:23,310 --> 00:34:26,409 What am I looking at here? And in what sense does that dominate? 490 00:34:26,610 --> 00:34:31,330 It's a rogue gene attaching itself to other forms of life and mutating. 491 00:34:31,980 --> 00:34:35,179 I don't understand this. I mean, what could be causing this and why? 492 00:34:35,380 --> 00:34:37,460 Wow, genetically mutating sharks? 493 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:42,380 This changes literally nothing about the plot. Not a single damn thing. 494 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,300 Maybe we're witnessing the new phase of shark evolution. 495 00:34:46,639 --> 00:34:50,679 Still sharks, but now with pun hats. It's really pissed off. 496 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,719 I mean, look at the pollution today. 497 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:57,139 Like, we've ruined the entire ecosystem already. 498 00:34:57,420 --> 00:35:00,800 The nail place and the strip mall, the good margarita bar, everything. 499 00:35:05,710 --> 00:35:09,910 6 o 'clock will be the wine tasting, followed by the Mr. Muscle Palm test, 500 00:35:09,910 --> 00:35:10,910 I'll be judging, of course. 501 00:35:11,310 --> 00:35:13,150 We're supposed to get whaling flowers. 502 00:35:13,770 --> 00:35:18,250 Oh, and the volunteers will be arriving at 5 .30, and they're going to serve the 503 00:35:18,250 --> 00:35:22,930 all -you -can -eat shrimp with the wine at 6 .00. Stomach pumps at 6 .15. 504 00:35:24,210 --> 00:35:25,470 Sam, what are you doing here? 505 00:35:25,690 --> 00:35:26,690 Can we talk? 506 00:35:26,970 --> 00:35:27,970 Sure. 507 00:35:28,470 --> 00:35:29,890 You take this call first. 508 00:35:33,210 --> 00:35:35,070 Hello, can you make me a real boy? 509 00:35:35,930 --> 00:35:37,890 I need to speak to the person in charge. 510 00:35:38,290 --> 00:35:39,290 This is he. 511 00:35:39,490 --> 00:35:40,610 Who am I speaking to? 512 00:35:40,910 --> 00:35:43,750 We haven't met yet. I'm Dr. Duke Westwind. 513 00:35:44,750 --> 00:35:46,110 I'm a bit of a shark expert. 514 00:35:46,330 --> 00:35:49,950 For example, did you know Sharky's machine isn't actually about a shark? 515 00:35:50,730 --> 00:35:53,050 Just a bit of a shark expert. 516 00:35:53,350 --> 00:35:56,190 Recent shark attack. I wanted to warn you. 517 00:35:57,290 --> 00:36:01,230 We've been studying them and their genes are mutating. And not in a fun Ninja 518 00:36:01,230 --> 00:36:02,430 Turtle way either. 519 00:36:03,050 --> 00:36:05,230 You should postpone the grand opening tonight. 520 00:36:05,490 --> 00:36:07,730 We would not want to put any other lives at risk. 521 00:36:07,950 --> 00:36:10,490 Your popcorn shrimp buffet is simply too dangerous. 522 00:36:10,750 --> 00:36:11,770 I don't know what you're talking about. 523 00:36:12,090 --> 00:36:13,110 It's been all over the news. 524 00:36:13,690 --> 00:36:17,610 They haven't captured the shark, or should I say sharks, yet. 525 00:36:18,310 --> 00:36:19,750 Look, I'm busy. 526 00:36:19,990 --> 00:36:23,910 Don't you call here again. I'm expecting an important call about my car's 527 00:36:23,910 --> 00:36:24,910 extended warranty. 528 00:36:25,210 --> 00:36:26,210 Hello? 529 00:36:28,390 --> 00:36:29,390 Robert? Robert? 530 00:36:30,270 --> 00:36:31,270 Hello? 531 00:36:31,930 --> 00:36:33,410 Damn, I missed dial tones. 532 00:36:33,690 --> 00:36:35,370 That's another thing you ruined, millennials. 533 00:36:35,810 --> 00:36:36,870 I'm guessing they didn't believe him. 534 00:36:37,350 --> 00:36:39,150 I wish there was something we could do. 535 00:36:39,670 --> 00:36:41,110 We really did all we can. 536 00:36:41,450 --> 00:36:44,730 Oh, well, why make bets on how many people get slaughtered? His brother, the 537 00:36:44,730 --> 00:36:46,270 mayor, wrapped around his finger. 538 00:36:46,970 --> 00:36:49,930 Not opening today would be a physical nightmare for them. 539 00:36:50,830 --> 00:36:53,250 I just hope the professor stays safe. 540 00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:54,820 He's kind of cute. 541 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,320 Only cute people deserve to be safe. Long time no see. 542 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,000 Kind of cute? 543 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:06,100 I don't know. Some crazy person told me I should stop the program today. 544 00:37:06,500 --> 00:37:09,220 Something about innocent people being mutilated. 545 00:37:09,460 --> 00:37:10,740 Blah, blah, blah. 546 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,680 Sharks. I mean, that might not be a bad idea. 547 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,600 There's been a lot of accidents recently. 548 00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:19,320 Getting torn apart by sharks equals accident. 549 00:37:19,580 --> 00:37:21,280 Oops. Every summer. 550 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,040 Lippin' night. 551 00:37:23,180 --> 00:37:26,040 Didn't come here to argue with you, Dad. I just came to say I'm sorry. 552 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,940 I didn't expect that. Who are you again? Are you trying to rob me? 553 00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:35,000 But I'm wanting to move on from that now. 554 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:40,960 Kirk, there's a lot of things about the relationship I had with your mother you 555 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:41,960 don't understand. 556 00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:45,960 Beyond her taxidermy fetish, you mean? Maybe we can get together soon. 557 00:37:46,780 --> 00:37:48,940 My father and son dinner, talk about it. 558 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:53,500 I can't say no to that. An evening listening to a bitter old man trash my 559 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:57,660 Count me in. We're short -staffed. Your brother would love to see you. 560 00:37:58,300 --> 00:37:59,300 Sure, yeah. 561 00:37:59,740 --> 00:38:03,180 I do want to let you know that I'm meeting a friend here. 562 00:38:03,420 --> 00:38:04,420 A lady friend. 563 00:38:04,780 --> 00:38:08,380 Oh, I beg you, never make that sound again, Mel. 564 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,600 Dad, don't get into all the ideas. She's mine. 565 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:12,280 What's up, bro? 566 00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:13,720 Oh, man. 567 00:38:14,300 --> 00:38:16,400 What's up, brother? Miss you, man. Miss you, too. 568 00:38:16,910 --> 00:38:21,110 Expected a deeper v -neck in your shirt, bro. I know, man. I'm a disgrace to 569 00:38:21,110 --> 00:38:22,630 bros. Actually, 570 00:38:24,410 --> 00:38:25,730 hey, you want to be with the carpets real quick? 571 00:38:26,150 --> 00:38:29,850 Sure, let's do it. Oh, hell yeah. Red hot carpet moving action. 572 00:38:30,070 --> 00:38:31,790 Hey! The carpets! 573 00:38:38,490 --> 00:38:42,130 Ah, I wish the jet ski guys were here. They'd know what to do. 574 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:50,500 Then if I killed the lifeguard, I could blame it on the shark. 575 00:38:51,580 --> 00:38:54,280 No, no, no. Let's bury these dots. 576 00:38:58,820 --> 00:39:02,380 Owie, owie, hot sand. Owie, owie, owie, owie, ow. 577 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,540 I'll get you, shark, you son of a bitch! 578 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:12,840 No, you won't. Ow. 579 00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:14,900 Good one, shark. 580 00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:23,860 Maybe I'll go see that kick -ass dolphin show. 581 00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:26,840 They sure are a hell of a dolphin. 582 00:39:30,100 --> 00:39:32,380 So, walking then? 583 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,920 Yes. Yes, walking. 584 00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:43,620 One perfect shot. 585 00:39:49,460 --> 00:39:52,860 What? I don't understand. Is the actor actually just lost? 586 00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:58,920 Even the lady from Carnival of Souls considers this a bit too much walking. 587 00:40:05,100 --> 00:40:09,120 Sure could go for a glass of wine and all the popcorn shrimp I can eat about 588 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:10,120 right now. 589 00:40:14,420 --> 00:40:18,160 Something of a shark expert coming through. To your right. Shark guy. 590 00:40:18,420 --> 00:40:19,420 Clear a path, people. 591 00:40:25,450 --> 00:40:29,650 Shouldn't there be at least one old tan dude rollerblading around in nothing but 592 00:40:29,650 --> 00:40:30,910 a banana hammock? Yeah. 593 00:40:31,330 --> 00:40:32,930 Shouldn't there be, Guy? Yes. 594 00:40:39,410 --> 00:40:41,610 My God, that viewfinder is huge. 595 00:40:42,910 --> 00:40:44,350 Oh, my God. Never mind. 596 00:40:44,910 --> 00:40:47,090 Perspective. Movie magic, Mike. 597 00:40:52,910 --> 00:40:56,230 You guys down there, you mind getting eaten by a shark? You'd really be 598 00:40:56,230 --> 00:40:57,230 me out. 599 00:41:03,250 --> 00:41:07,050 Hmm. No shark a few feet over in this direction either. 600 00:41:11,150 --> 00:41:12,150 Kind of cute. 601 00:41:14,790 --> 00:41:21,730 My God, the sharks are on land. Oh, never mind. 602 00:41:22,430 --> 00:41:23,870 Again. Magic. 603 00:41:27,010 --> 00:41:30,530 Oh, well, might as well buy some live crickets to throw at tourists. 604 00:41:37,370 --> 00:41:38,810 Beaches be crazy. 605 00:41:39,010 --> 00:41:40,770 Great souvenir T -shirt. 606 00:41:48,010 --> 00:41:54,790 If watching the hotel TV channel is too fast -paced for you... There he is. 607 00:41:57,130 --> 00:42:01,610 He's walking. Yes, indeed. And he's hoping that he will see a shark eating 608 00:42:01,610 --> 00:42:03,230 someone from Tennessee. 609 00:42:06,350 --> 00:42:06,950 Oh, 610 00:42:06,950 --> 00:42:13,810 hi out 611 00:42:13,810 --> 00:42:16,300 there. Are you... You a shark by any chance? 612 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:17,860 Nope, just a boat. 613 00:42:18,140 --> 00:42:19,140 Okay, thanks. 614 00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:20,480 Don't mention it. 615 00:42:20,980 --> 00:42:23,320 Be better if you were a shark, but... Yeah. 616 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,040 Okay. 617 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,100 I know you're out there, Squarepants, you son of a bitch. 618 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,400 Folks, what can I say? I'm sorry. 619 00:42:40,620 --> 00:42:41,620 It's a living. 620 00:42:48,940 --> 00:42:49,940 You're not a shark. 621 00:42:56,660 --> 00:42:57,660 Ruby's at the pier. 622 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,600 We're closed now, thanks to our appearance in this movie. 623 00:43:10,860 --> 00:43:15,120 If he's waiting for someone to compliment his hat, he's going to be 624 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:16,120 while. 625 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:20,980 Should I walk some more? 626 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,860 David Wallace from The Office. Shark expert. 627 00:43:31,340 --> 00:43:34,360 I will track you down. 628 00:43:36,180 --> 00:43:37,780 I will find you. 629 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:45,360 And I will kill you. I say that when I pick my lobster out of the lobster tank. 630 00:43:51,130 --> 00:43:54,910 Oh, Dean Combs, you're the Hydrax to Stephen King's Oreos. 631 00:43:58,170 --> 00:44:04,990 One morning I'll match the kill count of the SNL land shark. 632 00:44:05,910 --> 00:44:07,070 This is how I talk. 633 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:16,880 She's off to tell Aquaman she spotted his mortal enemy, Trenchcoat Wanguy. 634 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:23,000 Both 635 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:30,160 these 636 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:32,540 guys have written in Mark McGrath for president. 637 00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:43,540 There's an 80 % chance that this was filmed during an open house without 638 00:44:43,540 --> 00:44:44,540 permission. 639 00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,500 When you're an artist but don't know how to paint fingers. 640 00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:04,000 Whoa, whoa, music! We're just looking at some guy's house, so maybe settle the 641 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,000 hell down. 642 00:45:09,130 --> 00:45:13,110 So this guy's been Florida, man, all along. Oh, what a twist. 643 00:45:21,350 --> 00:45:24,850 Maybe it was a mistake to turn my tablecloth into a shirt. 644 00:45:31,370 --> 00:45:35,310 He's deep in thought, trying to figure out the difference between jelly and 645 00:45:43,790 --> 00:45:46,850 Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit drinking shark fuel. 646 00:45:50,170 --> 00:45:51,510 I gotta warn them myself. 647 00:45:51,930 --> 00:45:55,330 No more warning them via 19th century messenger boys. 648 00:46:00,110 --> 00:46:04,650 You know, I also like to stop by my house, take one sip of a beverage, and 649 00:46:04,650 --> 00:46:05,650 leave again. 650 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,000 The ocean is extra burbly today. 651 00:46:21,420 --> 00:46:26,100 They're all aimlessly milling around, not interacting with each other. Must be 652 00:46:26,100 --> 00:46:27,820 some sort of shark office party. 653 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:37,400 Guess no one's concerned about the giant red patch where Dean Kuntzlady used to 654 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:38,400 be. 655 00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:48,400 Guy is leaving human society to embrace the manatee lifestyle. 656 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:02,580 Pamela Anderson is on her way, but unfortunately she's stuck in slow 657 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,760 Not now, city bros. 658 00:47:09,870 --> 00:47:11,690 Make sure to pee on all the victims. 659 00:47:11,950 --> 00:47:15,030 Oh, no, wait, that's jellyfish. Never mind about the peeing. 660 00:47:15,270 --> 00:47:16,270 I already started. 661 00:47:20,830 --> 00:47:21,830 Good. 662 00:47:24,030 --> 00:47:26,110 Oh, my God. Something's going on out there. 663 00:47:26,870 --> 00:47:30,910 Bullshit. They have a great view through the totally real window that definitely 664 00:47:30,910 --> 00:47:31,950 isn't just the wall. 665 00:47:41,770 --> 00:47:45,750 The shark just nipped him. The main injury is from stepping on a pointy 666 00:47:45,750 --> 00:47:46,750 seashell. 667 00:47:47,730 --> 00:47:49,290 Sir, you have to come see this. 668 00:47:50,530 --> 00:47:52,230 I thought I told you to knock. 669 00:47:52,750 --> 00:47:54,310 But sir, this is an emergency. 670 00:47:55,110 --> 00:47:56,570 There's been another shark attack. 671 00:47:57,090 --> 00:47:59,090 Damn it, I heard enough about sharks. 672 00:47:59,310 --> 00:48:01,250 That's me on day five of shark week. 673 00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:03,450 They're setting up in the conference room. 674 00:48:04,650 --> 00:48:08,470 Why did you tell them they could do that? That room is still off limits. 675 00:48:08,910 --> 00:48:12,390 But sir! It's weird to have a forbidden conference room. 676 00:48:13,950 --> 00:48:17,850 Excuse me? You heard me. You're fired, and I get out or I'll have you removed. 677 00:48:18,610 --> 00:48:22,830 No one is going to take this day away from me. No one. 678 00:48:24,490 --> 00:48:25,830 Asshole! Bitch. 679 00:48:26,150 --> 00:48:28,110 Wow, he's being a real sourpuss. 680 00:48:28,530 --> 00:48:29,530 For a while. 681 00:48:30,290 --> 00:48:31,670 For a while. Calm down, everybody. 682 00:48:31,930 --> 00:48:34,270 Please calm down. The police are going to be here shortly. 683 00:48:34,610 --> 00:48:35,610 I don't give a... 684 00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,200 That's a beer helmet. 685 00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:46,760 Am I too late? 686 00:48:47,420 --> 00:48:50,140 What happened here? 687 00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:51,360 Shark attack. 688 00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,840 Hey, we're dealing with more than one shark here. 689 00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:57,920 What? When there's more than one, it's called a shark attack. 690 00:48:58,540 --> 00:48:59,540 Yeah. Excuse me. 691 00:49:03,220 --> 00:49:04,220 Hey, 692 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:06,480 Dad, there's someone here. 693 00:49:07,140 --> 00:49:10,320 On the bright side. He always wanted his last words to be. 694 00:49:10,750 --> 00:49:11,750 Bitch. 695 00:49:15,390 --> 00:49:18,850 God damn it! It looks like a heart attack. 696 00:49:19,070 --> 00:49:22,410 Always good to get a medical diagnosis from a bit of a shark expert. 697 00:49:22,870 --> 00:49:23,930 A little bit. 698 00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:25,170 Dad! Dad! 699 00:49:28,390 --> 00:49:31,870 They're off to drown their grief in tequila belly button shooters. 700 00:49:32,410 --> 00:49:33,730 Was killed, dude. 701 00:49:34,050 --> 00:49:35,530 Oh, that guy dead. 702 00:49:36,450 --> 00:49:37,650 Red dead right there. 703 00:49:39,210 --> 00:49:42,770 I have an idea how we can stop them, but I need some bait. 704 00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:49,390 Some human bait. I assume by human bait he means a human dressed in a sexy lady 705 00:49:49,390 --> 00:49:50,390 shark costume. 706 00:49:51,510 --> 00:49:52,810 This is going to get messy. 707 00:49:58,150 --> 00:50:01,470 Apex Predators is rated R for gratuitous dad bod. 708 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:12,180 In the director's cut, you get to watch him change his pants, apply sunscreen, 709 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,660 and try on six different pairs of flip -flops. 710 00:50:16,140 --> 00:50:17,140 Good stuff. 711 00:50:21,980 --> 00:50:25,440 Well, it won't even go down to that 10 yards, so stay close. Sure, go with that 712 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:26,339 take. 713 00:50:26,340 --> 00:50:29,540 There's only two or three sharks out there, right? They're territorial, and 714 00:50:29,540 --> 00:50:31,960 they'll fend for the hunting grounds. This has to work. 715 00:50:32,700 --> 00:50:33,700 Got it. 716 00:50:36,110 --> 00:50:38,570 Just be safe as human shark bait. 717 00:50:46,530 --> 00:50:47,529 Hey, you ready? 718 00:50:47,530 --> 00:50:48,530 Let's do this. 719 00:50:49,470 --> 00:50:52,150 Instead of a funeral, I'm doing this. 720 00:50:54,870 --> 00:50:56,630 What's he doing? He's crazy. 721 00:50:57,630 --> 00:50:58,630 That's my bro. 722 00:50:59,850 --> 00:51:03,770 He'll be okay. Don't worry about it. This is probably safer than half the 723 00:51:03,770 --> 00:51:04,770 at Disneyland. 724 00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,000 The cast of Entourage is excited. 725 00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:25,240 The sharks will surely be defeated by this. Wait, what the hell are they 726 00:51:25,240 --> 00:51:26,880 doing? I have no idea. 727 00:51:33,820 --> 00:51:39,980 It was all a dream. Soon he'll get up and find Patrick Duffy taking a shower 728 00:51:39,980 --> 00:51:40,980 his bathroom. 729 00:51:47,530 --> 00:51:49,970 I shouldn't have read that note. I'm blind now. 730 00:52:00,850 --> 00:52:02,250 Mondays, am I right? 731 00:52:04,230 --> 00:52:05,230 Mondays, 732 00:52:06,830 --> 00:52:07,830 am I right? 733 00:52:10,970 --> 00:52:15,250 The shot was so beautifully filmed, they just had to use it twice. 734 00:52:19,390 --> 00:52:22,870 Mia Skozafavi is short for Miami Skozafavi. 735 00:52:27,010 --> 00:52:31,150 It's nice to see women cast in dignified professional roles like this. 736 00:52:34,190 --> 00:52:35,970 Sure she's also a scientist? 737 00:52:39,050 --> 00:52:44,910 Maria Olsen is the world's most belligerent stripper. 738 00:52:45,150 --> 00:52:46,770 I'll take him off. See? 739 00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:53,280 Oh, she did a great job playing zombie Sarah Michelle Gellar. 740 00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:01,300 Glad we're getting to relive these unforgettable moments. 741 00:53:11,860 --> 00:53:15,060 Peter based his performance on Edward R. Murrow. 742 00:53:23,020 --> 00:53:27,220 These credits with this music, it's like an extremely grim 90s sitcom. 743 00:53:31,460 --> 00:53:32,460 Oh, yeah. 744 00:53:34,860 --> 00:53:38,860 Elena Dee is like Alan Smithy, only for asses. 745 00:53:42,540 --> 00:53:45,840 She's a member of the famous Philpott acting dynasty. 746 00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:53,100 And these guys are the roommates you get when you go to hell. 747 00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:01,580 And who could forget everyone's favorite character, Grandpa Squeezy. 748 00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:06,320 Well, there we go. That was Apex Predator. I guess. 749 00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,880 Folks, thanks for joining us. Remember, if you got this riff from anywhere but 750 00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:15,480 our site, please take a break from wandering aimlessly around your local 751 00:54:16,090 --> 00:54:19,950 to head over there and click the Donate button so we can keep on doing this. If 752 00:54:19,950 --> 00:54:22,810 you don't, Giant Sky Shark will be very upset. 753 00:54:23,310 --> 00:54:27,430 Roar! Giant Sky Shark, they're going to do it. Don't worry. Goodbye, everyone.